The Insignificance of Me

My problem is... i can't accept less that what i already have. To keep it as before is ok... but to give me less.. is not ok. I measure significance by that standard. Less means i'm less significant. When it grows more insignificant... i'll naturally (sadly) drift away. Be it frens, close frens and more importantly the guys i date.

I guess i'm a demanding one.. guess that's why the guys were never there for long... they are so not consistent... i wud walk away. My fault... when it comes to love (or anything close to it) i demand too much. But i'd like to also think that they were never meant to be :) I think if i like him enough... i'd allow some margin of insignificance :)

oh yeah, btw, i'm not talking about material things... i'm talking about other things like attention, time, etc.

...and how did i come to think of this and write on this matter? Bcoz i'm starting to feel insignificant... that's why!


On other things now...

BTW.. KI has offered me to work with her... but i told her she wud not be able to pay the salary i require. I want to accept it but Mama wudn't approve if the pay isn't that well. If she'd offer a position in the company as well as doing the work for her... then maybe the pay could be better and i wouldn't have to do shows & events only. I'd like to think i have something i can write on my resume for my future... and i'd like a job where i can put my knowledge to use. A subsidiary company or an investment portfolio wud be nice hehehe. I think i'll make that suggestion to her. In other cases, i wud mind working at that position... but for KI, i can give in a little.. but not too much... in the name of frenship ;)

I do think i have potential for something big... I've said for so long i can do something for that company.. but i guess they're not confident about me. If they had taken me in 2 years ago, i cud have done plenty... even now, i think i can do something. I guess, knowing me for so long, they have come to take me as that lil sister... the one that didn't grow up since 5 years ago... in their minds... i am probably that younger version they knew. Nobody listens to me seriously. Until someone cud take me seriously... then, i'll take the offer.

As for now... I'm going to start looking for a job in December. Any suggestions? If there's nothing i like... I can always teach.. I'd be a lecturer (the offer is still open). I'd get a decent pay doing something good (and i think i'd like it)... and i'd hav time to manage my future investments :) and get rich! Seriously... i am going to be rich :D

We'll see how it goes... :)