AM I HIDING ANYTHING?

I received an sms from a gud frensaying that i'm hidng smthg after a relay of smses of why I'm not OK... and i didn't even know that I'm not OK.. i guess i must have misled my fren to that conclusion. I am still confused since i didn't get the real answer to why she thinks i'm not OK.

I didn't think i was NOT OK (now it starts to sound confusing :P) ... i thot i was as usual... she sees me everyday and i don't think i've changed over these past few days... must have been smthg i said. And being VERY forgetful of past events... and the fact that i spend few hours every single day talking to her... i can't remember what i said to have caused it. huhu. no wonder she's kind of upset and not really talking... coz she said i was kind of cold. i wonder how she got that idea :(

maybe she caught me at the wrong time... i have been experiencing some ache at the back of my head and it's making me very uncomfortable... i blame it on the weather. sometimes my focus isn't on the conversation... when i try to contain the pain. Of course i don't go around telling how painful the headache is at times... i'd always plainly say i hv a headache and nothing more. y shud i when i know my pain is nothing compared to one particular person's pain.

But i have to admit... something is bothering me (but i think i tried hard to conceal it). My fren A is not in good condition. She's in pain most of the time... she even collapsed a few times. Told her to go check up for whatever illness that she has (i can't name it since i don't know wat she's suffering).. i've asked her to go numerous times before but to no avail. I think at some point she had given up. Lately it's getting really bad.. so i bring it up more often. I'm happy that she went last week (of course she didn't ask me to go with her coz i would figure it out)... at least she's getting some medical attention.

She's not improving much right now... hopefully it'll get better soon. she's not eating well either... So i always make her go out & eat with me (although at times i hv to eat more than i normally do).. just to be certain she eats. I'd be so down when i see her so weak & in pain.. i can't do anything other than asking if it's a lil better every half an hour.. which i think is irritating for her. it's sad. i would always ask and never show that i'm worried or sad... or i thot i did. if she knows it's making me sad, i'm afraid that she'll try hard to hide it from me... which i think would be very selfish of me. So i don't mind being sad.. at least i know and i see it in front of me. I would be very sad if i was not there to see it... worse, to not be able to see it anymore. Just don't take that privilege away from me, plz... and yes, it is a privilege and i'm proud i have it :)


I guess i AM hiding something after all.. hmm. I'll tell it to my fren when she asks again.