Number of Importance

Number Of Importance...

U know how people prefer a person over another.. how one person comes first or 2nd or 3rd... it's how people prioritize people in their lives. I do that too... it's just that my priority list changes according to situations or circumstances.

And i do think every other people do have priority names list. Most people including me would say the immediate family is above else... so i don't include them in my list... they're not supposed to be listed, they are definitely of most importance.

I realized that... or i seem to notice that.. i was never 1st on anybody's list... i don't think i even got top 3 on anybody's list. And when i think of it... i kind of feel a lil sad. But then.. i do have my list too... and i do believe that some may feel sad or neglected due to my lack of attention.. coz somebody else is of more importance on my list... so i think it's fair. That IS life.

When u r 1st on my list... u get all the attention... 2nd person will get the balance and so on. But some times i have to limit my 'resources' to the 1st person so that my position doesn't get too low on the others' lists.. it's not an act of selfishness... it's friendship. So when i reserve what belongs to the 1st or 2nd person to be given to the rest... i want to at least have them acknowledge that i had made some adjustments for them.. and hope to have them appreciate what i did. I do expect some saying i'm being unfair... i'll leave it at that. I can't justify my actions... i cannot please everybody and i don't expect them to please me either. If i get less attention... I'll understand that I'm low on their lists. That's fair for me.

For that reason... i never expect much from people... even my closest frens. I may give more than i received from some & i may have given less than i received from some. I always make the assumption that there is always at least one person of more importance than me on their list... so i don't expect much and i don't get let down or hurt. It's not inferiority... it's just humbling oneself. From now on... when i give... i am not expecting the same in return. Just take what is given... i'll only take when i feel that u're not neglecting ur other priorities. Don't give me anything out of guilt... I'd rather have nothing.

My current position... hehehe... i think i'm near the bottom of many lists.. and maybe in the middle of a few lists. Though it makes me a lil down at times (hey... i'm still human).. i try to be positive. Coz wat is important to one may seem rubbish to others... like beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. So i may feel left out at times... but i would try hard to understand ur priority lists. .. i just need time coz Im only human after all.

For those who feel they're low on my list... i sincerely apologize. I'm trying my best to meet expectations here... pls understand. It is not that u are not important... u are. It's just that there are others of more importance... those i think deserve more of me right now. Even some of my 'bestest' frens are riding low on the list. Sorry...