U never loose what u never had...

Itu sesuatu yg Mama pernah kata pdku... mama mmg slalu keluarkan kata2 falsafah... dan aku menyukainya.. buat aku berfikir... Mama always has something to say, most of the time logical enough for me to perceive... some of the times, I have my own say which, i should say is logical enough to not agree with Mama. Either way, Mama is a thinker (i got it from her) and she's always right... and the best thing, she still respect what i had to say.

We seldom talk [i mean seriously talking, on serious issues of life]... When we talk, it'll always be in the car on the way to dinner or preferably on the long journey to our kampungs. We can talk for hours.. jumping from one issue to another. Most of the time it'd be me n Mama doing the talking, debating, arguing and sometimes my annoying brother would but in... that would be like commercial break for us. Those times in the car... most precious, we share, we learn and we open our minds.

Back to the topic... We never loose what we never had... Kita xkan kehilangan apa yg x pernah kita miliki.

Pandangan manusia berbeza... pemikiran aku mudah, jika minda x dpt menerima kenyataan yg ada, ubah kenyataan itu supaya minda lebih senang meterima... look at things the other way, believe me it's easier. Contoh kata di atas... Aku pernah rasa kehilangan, mmg susah nk terima... tp bila aku pikir2 balik sbnrnya adakalanya aku x pernah memiliki benda2 yg aku hilang tu... adakah itu boleh kita kategorikan sbg 'hilang'?

Tp bila sesuatu tu dh set dlm otakku sbg sebahagian dr apa yg aku miliki [walaupun kenyataannya sebaliknya]... mmg terasa hilang. Tp aku memegang lagi satu kata2 ... things happen for a reason... org lain mungkin anggap 5 perkataan itu biasa je tp bg aku... those 5 words made my life easier... makes me accept the facts of life, learn to reason, able to forgive before people even apologize, view a different view & look forward to what life has to offer... We learn from mistakes that's why we make mistakes so we could continue learning.

Change of topic... Simple hope?

Pernah x rasa kita beri segalanya tanpa mengharap balasan? Tp bukankah sebenarnya kita mengharapkan balasan? Seorang sahabat buat segalanya utk sahabatnya mengharapkan dia menjadi sahbat terbaik bg sahabat itu ataupun semudah mengharapkan persahabatan mereka terus kekal. Bukankah itu dianggap mengharapkan sesuatu? Pernah rasa kita bg byk benda pd seseorg tp org tu mcm x kenang budi pulak? Bukan harap balasan ke tu?

Aku pernah rasa semua itu... kita kecewa sbb kita mengharap. Apa yg aku harap tu hanya kepercayaan dan ketelusan. Bila apa yg kita harap tu x sampai, kita tunggu, masih mengharap... sampai la ke suatu tahap kita dh letih menunggu dan berharap. Proses ini berulang ntah berapa puluh kali dlm hidupku... bila jumpa orang baru, wujud harapan baru... so berterusan. Tp sekarang aku dh sampai tahap letih menunggu dan berharap... aku cuma akan memberi dan memberi, jika xde balasan pn aku x kisah... things happen for a reason. Bila difikirkan balik... pasti bukan aku seorg yg melalui situasi ni, pasti aku juga pernah buat org lain letih menunggu dan berharap pd aku... Ironi. Dunia adil, sebenarnya semua merasai, terpulang pd penilaian dan penerimaan je.



Jump to another topic... [so much to say but i don't think i've said it well enough, but what the heck.]

A few months back... those were tough times. People might not know but one loyal fren of mine sure knows how i went thru all that... can't say i didn't shed some tears, I did. Thanks for being there for me.. those sleepless nights, sobbing on the phone... u were there, listening... i made it thru. I'm cool now... I had to let go, i did what i think was right [though, many would object]. It's all in the past... some lesson in life!

And yet another topic....

Opening up to more people... making frens, trying to enjoy life. Best therapy session so far? Playing badminton with 2 kids in the middle of the night... Got a cramp in my jaw for smiling and laughing too much. What joyfulness! I'd probably going back to see my lil cousin inKB... she's the top angel in my heart! Miss u so much Nat! Love life? Looking forward to it :p ... i want to have my own lil angels to be with me 24/7. I'm afraid my matchmaker's bz these days so i'd have to wait or probably take it into my own hands since i'm on holiday now.

A-I-M? It was OK... the closing should have been better [it was OK, though]... maybe she was tired or something but still, i think it should have been better bcoz the feel wasn't there. But she did won something last night... as expected [for the 7th time?], no surprise. Overall it was a great show except 4 some technical probs airing the show without the audio.

Plans for the week? Probably the circus and trip to a beach... and maybe hangout with old frens and a movie or two. Some squash, futsal, swimming and if I'm in the mood, do some business.