Friendly comprehension...

Several things (similar things) came to mind on few occasions. I can figure other people quite well but not a few of my friends... most of them, i've known for years and i've learned from all those years.. but honestly, sometimes i dn't get them too.. so a little mystery is ok i guess.. as i always say "what you don't know will keep you interested so you'll hang around out of curiosity".

Nothing bugged me or anything... i was just remembering all the friends i have and the time we spent together and how we have all affected each other to 'evolve'. I am grateful that i've been blessed with great friends... although they're not into my sad stories so much (i dn't think that they don't care... it's just that i don't show/talk much so they don't actually have a clue of what i'm going thru).

OK, so back to the point... sometimes i can't comprehend my frens well. So i'll start to ask questions... and if u're my friend, i think u'd like to know the questions since it'll give u some clues in figuring me out (coz i'm too complicated for anybody to even bother haha). Some of the questions (one may be related to another):

1. Does she/he even wants me here? ...coz i don't feel like i'm welcomed.
Although my intention was good, i doubt myself & start to feel bad.

2. Do you even care that I'm missing something good just to be here?
coz i've been talking on and on about so many things trying to get my friend interested in something while the friend's mind is elsewhere.

3. Should i sms/call? or just like the others that doesn't care unless the friend sms/call for some attention?
If i sms/call i may disturb the peace or the friend may think i'm being nosy. but if i don't then there's a possibility that the friend would assume that nobody cares.

4. When I am always there, do people take me for granted?
Thru the years i've learned that people always want what they don't have (duhh!)... as example: if u have a car, u wouldn't want to get the same car when it's still there, right? u'd want another car, a different one that's harder to achieve.

5. When i call/sms, have you ever not bother to answer and later tell me u didn't notice my text/call?
The reason why i seldom call... it gets on my nerves when people don't answer when i'm quite sure i check that they shud be free to answer. So, even if i feel like calling, i dn't... i sms so people will hv time to respond at their own time (just dn't take too much time & make me wait). When i call, means i need an urgent answer to something... or worse, i may be dying somewhere. Answer the phone!

6. When i do something nice, do u say "how nice of her to do that" or do you say " I wish she/he (referring to somebody else) does that"?
Damn! How would u feel about that?

These are some of the questions, not all. And it is not just one person.. quite a few of frens.

And one of the things i can never forget... just one of the scenarios i've been thru.
...When a fren was in distress (she was attacked by some stranger) she called me up and we're not that close then. And i was worried sick.. i called the other fren, B that is close with her to go see her since she didn't want me to go there (even though i insisted!), she just wanted to let me know in case something worse happens (i'll be able to tell the story). So i called B.. she was really cool while i panicked.. she sounds like she had something else more important and said she'd call this distressed fren and ask. I hung up.. wait for 5 minutes & called back. B said the fren is ok... nothing to worry about, she's headed home already. Since that day, i have been a little skeptical when it concerns B... i tried to let it go and it's ok now but sometimes, her reaction to things makes me remember that particular moment.

When i called the distressed fren.. she was still there! and still didn't want me to go there... she was heading home. so i let it go. i offered twice! and was rejected. And B... she better have a reason to sound so cool & not panic like i did. Maybe she just act cool coz the fren asked her to do just that.. i dn't know. It's hard to believe.

And guess what? The distressed fren had recalled the event a few times in our conversation and how B was 'there' on the phone. According to her story, she called B first coz she wasn't close to me (did she? i dn't know). I wasn't mentioned at all.. coz she forgot she called me (well, maybe she was panicking and forgot she did call me.. maybe i was the 2nd person she called?). She specifically say it happened before we were really friends. Ok, i guess u call unfriendly people when u're in distress and panic? (i think i can call k.lon when i'm in distressed coz i know she will definitely offer to be there haha)

This is just to show an example of the many situations i've been in. I am not asking for them to return the favor.. just acknowledgment of my existence is enough. From my experience... i figured something. People call me when they're distressed. I become invisible when there are other people around. Conclusion: .... sendiri mau ingat la kan, sapa suh manjakan kawan (haha)

On a positive note: I get to learn a lot and improve my "friendly" skills ;) Thank you (ikhlas ni)



FRIENDLY UPDATES...
4 of my close frens' bdays are in october.
2 in november.. for november, i tried planning a trip since i promised to go on a vacation with them. Asked one (since it's hard to get her available dates) and it didn't go far.. not interested i guess. so not planning anymore... and yesterday, the earthquake is another reason for not going anywhere around this region. They'll be going to London, anyway... London is safe for travel ;) just that it is the last country i'd want to go... the people are too lazy (a recent global survey is a proof!)... and my definition of vacation does not include shopping.

So now.. planning a short weekend getaway with the BR girls... not enough time to plan for their bdays.. but we never need an occasion to have fun :D we have fun... doesn't matter where, the company is good. Even the brief Melaka trip was really fun. (Melaka sounds like a good repeat!)... but trip with BR, we hv to avoid shopping places... some of us really can't control themselves! and the rest will get tired following them around.

owh yeah.. saw a fren's fb status... she's pissed of with some frens hopping to one group of frens after another after achieving their objectives.. maybe she was also referring to me although i dn't hop-off after getting what i want... but people seem to have that assumption about me. Sorry.. but several reasons made me leave the group. Has it ever occurred to u that some people isn't pleased when i 'get' things? I'd thank u if u choose to understand me.. if u dn't, i can't change that. I really want to be ur fren.. but u're still in the same circle with those people that has caused me trouble.. i can't pretend i'm ok with them. Just not me. I' hv forgiven them... but to forget, it's really hard... but i'm trying. Sorry if u hate me :(