For now, i'm ok with u

I've been upset with C for the past week for wat C's done (although it has been a cycle i've been thru so many times now)... When i knew that C was going to join us for dinner, i was wondering how i shud be reacting to C & if i cud act as i used to. I thought it'd be really awkward... knowing wat C did & C probably knowing that i know.

The half an hour i got after accompanying H shopping.. was spent prepping myself to face C. In that half of an hour... i thot bck of all the good C has done to bring smiles and some happiness in my fren's life. I hate pretending & i wished i wasn't going to meet C so i dn't have to pretend and fake a frenly conversation. The time came & i was well prepared... wat i felt was kept aside... coz i know my fren wants me to be supportive of wateva she chooses. So being the good fren, I was ready to face C and carry on the act as planned.

When i met C... C acted normal... wat a relief for me coz it wudn't take too much effort on my side! Then my fren appeared... seeing her, C was forgiven... suddenly i wasn't so pissed off anymore. If C can make my fren smile... then C just made my day! So it wasn't awkward. We chatted as normal.. it went ok... I like the end result so it doesn't matter anymore. As long as C keeps my fren happy... there will be no hard feelings :)

We went shopping afterwards... then C told me to take wat i like... we were @ Guess.


While we're on this topic... Let this apply to any similar situation....

Firstly, I'm not one to take on any offer ...i've always said that i don't like choosing when others are paying (so i pretend to look around a little and said i didn't see anything i like). Secondly, i've always (and so many times) said that it must always be the thought when u want to give anything to me... I don't want to be the one choosing wat YOU 'want' to give to me. Even if i dn't like wat u buy for me... i wud still appreciate and treasure it if u had chosen to buy it for me... believe me, it means so much more this way. Of course i like things with high monetary value (who doesn't?!)... but it wouldn't matter wat the price is... if u think i'd like it... then, i will. But unless it's my bday... i won't blame u if u ask me wat i'd like (i may or may not hv an answer).. i know how hard it is to find a good bday present coz it's for a special day. I've received some nice presents (with assistance of some hints from me, of course hehehe).. they are on my thoughtful lists (it's in my mind... i dn't write out a chart ok)...

The most thoughtful thing i've received... a group photo (nicely presented..handmade), a written letter (coz my fren just wanted to tell me she cares), a pack of fiherman's friends (coz i had sore throat) & a pack of Dentyne chewing gum (coz i always have it with me). Believe me, i treasure the thought of these simple things more... it shows that my frens took time to notice wat i like. Those little things that i don't expect from them... that is of higher value :)


And when i give gifts... they were always bought/made with much thought. I dn't know whther the recipients got the part where i was being thoughtful or not.. but i know that when i give, it's not merely something physical. Sometimes i'd spend days going thru every other shops in several shopping malls just to find a box for a gift (but don't feel guilty if u've thrown away the boxes... i'd understand)


How it all started..
It all started when i was very young ( icn't recall exactly how old i was)... Mama saw me ripping thru my birthday presents after all the guests are gone. I wud unwrap one by one tossing aside when i dn't find a toy that caught my attention.. and when i found one, i'd leave the rest of the presents for a while... then i got greedy and open the rest (i was a kid!) ... then i'd finally decide on a few things i like and give a few to my younger brother... then, leave the rest with the pile of torn wrapping papers. The next year... Mama watched on... saw me tearing at the wrappings... then she said "they are nice wrapping paper... don't tear it, open it nicely and fold it". as a child, i was quite an obedient one... i did as told. I didn't know how to fold nicely (i was a kid!).. but i did fold the papers and hv a nice stack. Then when i chose the toys i like... Mama wud say "These are all nice toys... ur frens took the trouble to get u presents, u shud treat them equally.. keep them nicely in ur room... when u feel like playing, take one out and later keep them back in place"
Of course those weren't the exact words... but i guess it shud sound like that ;)

I never realized it until later... when i was in standard 6. i had 3 bestfriends... we always hv our little handmade presents for each other... we even make up occassions to give each other little presents we made. I kept all those things til my mom decided that my room was getting too messy with too many little things a few years later (i guess she didn't expect me to go to that extend hahaha!)... and some got lost while we were moving around a lot, changing homes and with help of my very under disciplined cousins. Even now, i still have a few of them with me... kept safely in a box, in the cupboard. Those are good memories to live by...